Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Spicing up the menu at Synthetic Information

Most disgusting news story of the week.

As reported by NY Channel Seven News July 15 2009 with additional material from anonymous sources.

A German tourist vacationing at the Waldorf Astoria in New York was eating a high end dinner after a long day of sight seeing in the Big Apple. The Waldorf dining room is perhaps one of the finest dining experiences in the city. It is famous for it’s salads, you may have heard of the Waldorf Salad, created by the head chef of the restaurant nearly 100 years ago.

This pleasant dining scenario took a horrific turn. Because of their disgusting nature, I cannot continue with specific descriptions of events, but they involve the poor man swallowing something, in his food, which later was determined to be a foreign object, and the object was a particularly unpleasant one.

Of course, a German tourist is a foreign object himself, so this presents something of a conundrum, but I digress.

These unfortunate events were precipitated by an apparent misunderstanding between the server and a restaurant patron, i.e. our German tourist.

As the table server tells it, he was explaining the menu to the patron.

“Sir, the house special tonight is the top sirloin steak with a side salad of blue smoked salmon on a bead of fresh spinach leaf.

The patron, speaking broken English apparently said yes, he wanted the steak, but with a blood soaked tampon on a bed of spinach, which the waiter dutifully recorded.

Manfully concealing his feelings of revulsion, the waiter replied somewhat stiffly,

“Yes sir. Our kitchen will do its best.”

The kitchen staff was bemused, but undetered by the challenge raised by the eccentric German’s order. After all, the Waldorf kitchen prides itself on its highly innovative staff and their willingness to make every effort to provide excellence in customer service. No matter how unusual the request.

The rest you know by now. The table service, the swallowing, the choking, the retrieval of the item, the gargling with brandy, the hurried trip to the bathroom, the trip to the ER, and the ER physicians horrifying pronouncement,

“Yes, it is as I feared. Our tests are conclusive. The foreign object ingested by the German tourist at the Waldorf dining room was indeed, a blood soaked tampon. Not a blue smoked salmon.”

I understand tomorrow’s house special is an Asian dish, Hunan Chop Finger Chicken on a bed of rice. Order carefully and enjoy!

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